1. Don't Try This At Home

2. Gotta Be With You

3. Mildred and Me

4. What Jesus Said About It

5. Smorgasbord

My father took the family to the smorgasbord
He strapped us all in the backseat of his luxury Ford
We grabbed our plates and ran up to the serving board
oh these were calories that we could ill afford
we slapped our napkins on our laps and blessed the lord
then father took the time to give us one quick word
he said
All you can eat All you can eat
got four kinds of chicken, six kinds of meat
and oh ain't it good oh ain't it grand
we've got all we can eat in this fair land

We sat there at the table 'til we were gorged
oh even though that we were full we still ate more
father said he had to get his moneys worth
so I ate bake potatoes 'til I thought I'd burst
oh chicken legs and red beet eggs and beef croquettes
stewed tomatoes, sweet potatoes, veal cutlets
country hams, sugared yams, oven baked beans, collard greens
oh no, I can't eat more eggplant
no more Dutch pot pie or shoo fly pie

After we had put away the three desserts
and after all the after dinner mints were served
we stuffed our pockets with some things that we deserved
some silverware, a folding chair, and some hordourves [sic]
a piece of pork and a serving fork and the cashiers shirt
then father took the time to give us one last word
he said
All you can eat all you can eat
got four kinds of chicken, six kinds of meat
and oh ain't it good, oh ain't it grand
We've got all we can eat in this fair land

6. The Wrong Crowd

7. House Where No One Lives

8. Lobotomy

I gave myself a lobotomy with a kitchen knife
I left the house I was looking for a wife
somebody purdy, somebody clean
someone with money if ya know what I mean

She was born on a tugboat in the blindin' snow
and the wind chill factor was a hundred below
ran off with a Carney when she was just ten
took on a gorilla as her best friend

chorus
she got a mouth like a trucker and a tongue like a snake
hump on her back and a brother named Jake
and if I'd ever leave her be a big mistake
She's the best thing I've ever seen

You can sing about your divas and your debutantes
sweet miss Americas with big bouffant
Playboy bunnies and your soccer moms
Yamaha mamas and atomic bombs

repeat chorus
9. Foolish Thing

10. Trust Your Judgment

11. I Started Naked

12. Boy Is My Face Red

13. Dump Truck Delores

chorus
well dump truck Delores she lives by the forest
dump truck Delores she hauls my love away

I'm still sore from a night with Delores
she gave me a tour of her topical delights
she showed me her unusual formations
I took a long look at her historical sights

we go for a ride sittin' side by side
in the cab of her big old dump truck
one arm around my big old stick shift
that four wheel drive don't get stuck
repeat chorus

14. Still Know How To Rock

Secret Hidden Track Bens Boy Amos

Hello this Ben's boy Amos
I ain't around right now
Me and Ben is in the barn milking
We probably won't be done till after dark

Though we ain't getting much for our milk these days
We still got to milk the cows
The man from the city he tell you
This here is bucket but it is sieve
How much more can one man give?
How far off the hard road do you live?

Hello Ben this is Amos, why don't you come over tonight
And mow the grass for me and your Mom
It is about three inches high
And Mom don't like it so high when her shoes get wet

I got a board over here that needs fixing then to
It's out in back on chicken shed

Them boys over there at the Tuesday night auction
They took my good money for a bum steer
Them boys would hand you a bucket but is really a sieve
How much more can one, one man give?
How far off the hard road do you live?